party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
