My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
