As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
