My friends, they love my intelligence
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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