I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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