What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
