CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you had me at cake vodka
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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