Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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