woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
