On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
