he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
