a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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