Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
