Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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