I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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