I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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