tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
