And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
