I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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