I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
