I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
