bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
