it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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