Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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