New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Found the puke drawer
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize