i just google imaged poop.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
