Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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