I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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