Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
