Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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