woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
