Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I could fuck to npr.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
