Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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