i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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