no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
