Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
