You work out of a Hotel?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
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You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
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It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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