why didn't you poke me back
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize