yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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