Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
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