apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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