Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
