Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
