Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
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I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
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Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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