and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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