no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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