im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
