"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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