I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Ambien. No doubt about it.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
