Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
