She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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