On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
