Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
