She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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