We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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