So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
