We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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