I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I can't turn off my feet"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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