I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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