Sry I called you an 8
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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