you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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